Overheard at... home

 Pre-quel to the Squirrel-whispered post

The scratch-scratch of squirrel feet running across the attic to avoid the kritter-control dude.

Ohhhh, that waskely wabbit. Why do I suddenly feel like Elmer Fudd? It seems like every year these dang squirrels take their winter holiday at our house. It must be like Palm Beach or something to them, because I swear they get a deal on Orbitz and arrive with fully packed bags and squirrelettes in tow.

As you can probably tell, I am not a fan of rodents visiting my house. I can’t think of many people who are. But I have reached a new level of disgust with squirrels in general. Let’s review the facts: 
-Even though they are already fat, they steal the birdseed out of the birdfeeder for the lovely, helpful birds that roam my garden. 
-They run along the fence and taunt my poor dog with their annoying chatter.
- They gnaw through my eaves and into my house so they can wake me up in the middle of the night with their little squirrel fiestas.

Is it any wonder that I went out and did a happy dance the day I heard one of them fall two stories through one of the internal walls of my house. I was thrilled…. Two seconds later, I’m not kidding, I hear a squirrel yelling furiously at the house from a low branch on a nearby tree. Now, I can’t know for sure that it was the same squirrel, but when I went outside to see… it didn’t run away and in fact seemed too dazed to move.  I’m still trying to figure out how it
made it outside so quickly.

When my daughter was young we had an ongoing story about the squirrels in our backyard. The were named, (don’t ask me why) Samantha, Sam and Magpie. They each had very unique personalities…. Sam was always hiding, and
  then losing, his food; Samantha would help by coming up with outrageous ideas for finding it and Magpie would ultimately come in and save the day. It was very amusing, and probably my own, passive aggressive way of making fun of the ridiculous creatures.

The problem is, my daughter now considers squirrels part of our family: sort of like a backyard pet. And, in any case, I really can’t fight her on this. The little squatters move in every winter as if indeed, it is their  home also. The pest guy has assured me that the one way door will get rid of
them. Ha!


The good news is they’re totally quiet today… the bad news is
that I figure they’re coming up with their five point plan for how to circumvent
that door.