“I’m so “f”ing old that I’ll never get a boyfriend at this point.”

What was particularly funny about this overhear was that the two girls walking by us on the path couldn’t have been more than 30 years old. Age, like everything else, is relative. And so I suppose, to them, 30 does feel ancient. Personally, I met my wonderful husband at 28, dated for less than a year before becoming engaged, and got married at 30. So I don’t actually think this young woman was out of the realm of possible dating.

I would say it could be environmental, e.g. particular to Seattle that people date young. But, in fact, I was living in Seattle when I met my husband (though technically we spent our time in Portland where he was living.) And, it is not a factor of the (ahem) 18-ish years that have passed since my engagement. According to the Huffington Post, the average age for people getting married has reached an all-time high. 

I remember living that period, though. Although we no longer refer to older, unmarried women, as old maids (and btw - try finding that card game- nearly impossible anymore,) as women we do begin to feel pushed aside as we watch our friends, and friends of friends find love and marry. I was in my fair share of weddings, and can testify to the angst of being “always the bridesmaid and never the bride.”

But, here’s what I also know…. Almost twenty years later quite a few of those young romances had significant trouble when they hit the inevitable rocky challenges in marriage. Some ended in divorce, and happily, some just had to renegotiate who they were as a couple. And while I won’t claim my husband and I have never hit some of those rough patches, I will say that I have never, ever questioned that I could have made a better choice. I had my chance to date those other choices… and for me, was glad I waited for the right one.

So, hear me, young thirty year-old women! You are at the perfect age to date. You have money, you have independence, you have an awesome wardrobe… and most importantly, you have a clear sense of self. Enjoy it while you can, because although you may not believe it, soon you will be jumping with glee when your daughter’s gym offers a parent’s night out and your dates consist of grocery shopping while sipping nonfat lattes or auctions with a bunch of other elementary school parents. Woo Hoo!

What was the last date you went on? I’m always looking for good ideas, so leave a comment and improve the pathetic dating rut we are stuck in. 

I hope your next date is a fun new journey inspired by love.
Cheers,
Deanne

“The video shows him being burned alive.”

Nearly five hundred eighty-four years ago, on May 30, 1431, a nineteen year old girl was burned at the stake for heresy, after a church trial that was far more political in nature than religious. This girl is known throughout the world as St. Joan of Arc. She’s been reflected in works of art and literature and is a patron Saint of France.

And… it was her image which overlay itself on my brain when I heard the news that the Jordanian pilot, Moaz al-Kasahbeh, had been executed by being burned alive. To my mind it was a miscalculation of the greatest proportion. By choosing this method of execution ISIS not only reinforced their evil nature, they also demonstrated their absolute lack of understanding of Western culture… the very thing they claim to be fighting against.

Joan of Arc was not canonized because she involved herself in politics, leading battles for Charles VII, King of France, but because of her absolute faith and piety, even at the stake. While there is something dramatic about a young woman riding into battle wearing men’s clothes, her real allure comes from the courage she showed up until the very end.

“One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying.”
                                                     Joan of Arc

Throughout history there is one great truth, one belief found as part of every philosophy, every religious creed (more versions of the Golden Rule at Religioustolerance.org): 

Christianity
"And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise." Luke 6:31, King James Version.

Judaism
"...thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.", Leviticus 19:18 

Islam
"None of you [truly] believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself." Number 13 of Imam "Al-Nawawi's Forty Hadiths."

We must not sacrifice tolerance and we must continue to demand and fight for tolerance from the world in general. It is for this that we fight… for this that St. Joan of Arc fought… for this that Moaz al-Kasasbeh gave his own life.

Deanne