“After being married for 33 years there’s some things you just don’t tell them.”

Funny… there’s no part of me that thinks this way with my husband. I probably overshare. Split ends, digestive issues, menopause symptoms- nothing is off limits. Sometimes, it may feel like I am withholding, but this is simply because when he asks what I am doing, or who I was talking with on the phone, it takes me a while to recreate it in my mind.

Typically my brain goes through a convoluted series of hoops to reach a conclusion, (which may relate to my blog post last week about intuition.) I know it is related to the direction my blog posts take. I was late on this one this morning, and my husband asked if it was because I couldn’t come up with anything to say. After giving him the raised eyebrow expression that said, you must be crazy, I told him, “Finding something to say is never a problem.”

And yet…. With so much internal noise it is sometimes difficult to find the important thing to say. Or maybe it is my own protective way of not having to say it. I’m not sure on this. I just know that underneath all of the blogs about writing, or even drunk driving, there is a deep, deep river of untold emotion.

Of course a public blog may not always be the best spot to air these issues. (You don’t really want to hear about my awful fears for my 9 year old daughter, do you? If so you could save me lots of money in counseling bills). But really, really good writing has to come from this level- even if it is close to being one of Dante’s lower levels of hell.

Lately the discord between Commercial Romance and Literary Fiction has taken up a good chunk of my brain power. I have been reading about it, writing about it, thinking about it, and yet still haven’t discovered from where the real disagreement stems. I can point to many factors that aggravate it. But I can’t isolate any one problem that would resolve the disagreement once and for all. (For more on the debate read this blog post from May 23, 2013.)

I do know though, that the fact that most romance is written by women has to relate somehow. Observing my own hesitancy with writing the dark, difficult stuff, I wonder if this is something other women withhold also. Books
such as “Lean In,” lead me to think I could be on to something with this direction of thought.

After all… if we can’t even say some things to our spouse, how on earth can we say them to friends, colleagues, family or readers?

What sorts of things do you share or withhold from your people in your life? Do you find it easy or difficult to reach down and publicly explore the difficult subjects? I love hearing from my blog readers. And to prove it I’m giving away a copy of my book BETTING JESSICA to one lucky commenter during the month of September.

Leave a comment for any of my blog posts and at the end of each month I will randomly select one  visitor/commenter to receive a free download of my book. (Note: winner will be notified by a reply linked to their 
original comment…. Check back at the end of the month for directions on how to claim your prize!)

“Lips that touch liquor, will never touch mine.”

This last weekend my family and I participated in an historical reenactment of life in Willamette Oregon in the year 1913. Walking from scene to scene (each set inside or in front of a historical house) we led tour groups through different vignettes based on topics of importance at the time. One of these topics, temperance, turned out to feature and unexpectedly important role.

It is funny how life sometimes mimics theater. In this case a drunk driver bypassed the road blocks and was stopped by two local, off-duty, officers dressed in the official outfits of the time. Not believing that they had the authority to arrest him, he argued with them, leading them to call in on-duty reinforcement. To add to the confusion of the moment, a goat that was being walked around town as part of the tour got loose and was running around the area where the police were questioning the man.

Since Saturday there have been a few posts about this extra scene. (Link to Oregonian article). So, I won’t add to what has already been written. What I did realize, after seeing a picture of the scene, was that my daughter, who was playing one of the characters in one of the vignettes, was only one block away from where the man was stopped. At the time I thought the whole chaos was pretty funny. But after seeing that picture I now thank God that the man was stopped before he actually hurt anyone… especially my daughter and her young friend.

A battle that was waged 100 years ago still continues today. And while I am not advocating for prohibition, the word temperance actually derives from the Latin word temperantia which means moderation. Only later, when it was attached to prohibition, did it come to mean abstinence. Moderation in all things is good… but situations like the one above point to why moderation in alcohol drinking is essential.

We always assume that the bad thing won’t happen. But Saturday night is a poignant example of how close we are to being the one sitting at next to the hospital bed praying for our daughter’s life. As we approach the holidays we are guaranteed of many chances to drink and drive. But before you pull out those keys, please remember that there probably won’t be any 1913 cops to stop you from tragedy.

Know of any good ways to moderate over the holidays. Have any suggestions for ensuring that the drive home is safe? I love to hear comments from my readers. And to prove it I’m giving away a copy of my book BETTING JESSICA to one lucky commenter during the month of September.

Leave a comment for any of my blog posts and at the end of each month I will randomly select one visitor/commenter to receive a free download of my book. (Note: winner will be notified by a reply linked to their
original comment…. Check back at the end of the month for directions on how to claim your prize!)