“The 12 stages to intimacy can be overlaid against the story and relationship ARCs.”

There is always a hesitancy on my part when I am asked about what I write. For one thing, Comedic Women’s Fiction with Romantic Elements, is a mouthful; something I have to first prepare for by swallowing my saliva. But, for another thing, I have an idea that when I say Romance, that is what people glom onto.

It is not that I am embarrassed to write Romance. I can’t imagine trying to write anything that didn’t include a relationship.  Life is nothing if it is not about love. But, I think that what people think of when  they hear the word romance is sex. And this is the last thing I want to talk about with friends, family or even fans. (We can’t all be Delilah Marvelle… A wonderful writer in our group who writes very sexy, Historical Romance and always has a zinger at our meetings.)

But this was one of the reasons I was so interested in attending Elizabeth Boyle’s workshop on Adding Sexual Tension to our work. Note that the topic was about adding the tension, not just sex. And the very best stories
include tension of all kinds, sexual or otherwise. So I was determined to improve my craft in this important area.

One of the most important parts of her talk focused on the 12 Stages of Intimacy. Originally written about by Desmond Morris, it is a topic other presenters (especially Linda Howard) have discussed. But what I liked in particular about Elizabeth’s workshop was how she overlaid it against Story and Relationship, demonstrating when in the relationship each stage might naturally take place.

So, I came home and went through the manuscript I am working on (Molto Mayhem) to figure out how my timing was. It was interesting to see how I had subconsciously lined the moments up pretty accurately. Here’s an example-

Aiden chuckled, and Lucia felt his hand on the base of her back as he followed behind her. A tingle shot through her at the light touch and she jumped forward, like a cow shocked by an electric cattle prod.

This is the first time he has touched her that way, a stage of contact that is very intimate. It sends strong messages about desire and possession. Messages Lucia isn’t ready yet to face. Also, because Aiden skipped a couple of steps, Lucia’s assumption that he may be a player seems to be confirmed.

So, now that I’ve learned how to use the stages in my writing, I suppose it might be time to apply it to my personal life. For that, though, I think I better focus less on the tension and more on the intimacy.

Which stage of Intimacy do you think is the most sexy? (Don’t know what they are, link here to a great write-up by author Jenny Hansen) I love to hear your thoughts, and to prove it I’m giving away a copy of my book BETTING JESSICA to one lucky commenter during the
month of September.

Leave a comment for any of my blog posts and at the end of each month I will randomly select one visitor/commenter to receive a free download of my book. (Note: winner will be notified by a reply linked to their
original comment…. Check back at the end of the month for directions on how to claim your prize!)

“I was a totally different person there.”

Sometimes when we travel we end up in places that have such a strong identity they infuse us with it as well. Italy has always been one of these spots for me, and I was glad to find that Annie Seaton’s new book, ITALIAN AFFAIR, successfully captures its essence.

As you know, I don’t typically write book reviews in my blog. But in this case I was so intrigued by the setting (Italy) that I decided to join in her blog tour. I’m so glad I did! It turned out to be a fun story with a great sense of place. -

When Scottish girl Brianna finds she has inherited a property in Italy she feels she will finally be able to get a feeling for the mother she never knew. The catch? She must be married to inherit it. Lucky for her she meets a kind, if a bit uptight, Australian guy, Tom, who for his own purposes agrees to help her out.

While at times I craved a bit more character development, this may have been because I liked both Tom and Brianna and wanted to see their personalities shine through even more. The story itself has just the right pacing so that the reader can enjoy the beautiful Italian setting.

And enjoy it I did! Descriptions of the villa she has inherited which brought me into the beautiful Mediterranean sunshine; attention to the details of food and drink; the portrayal of sounds which remind the reader they are in a living place.

     A whitewashed villa sprawled down the hill at the end of the
  road. The vista of the sea formed a scenic backdrop to the waves
  breaking gently on the pebbled beach far below them.
    “Is this it?” He strode down the hill and caught up to Brianna,
  who stood at a locked wrought iron gate. Tom peered over the
  top of the intricately scrolled metal into a paved courtyard with
  a small fountain in the middle. Wind chimes tinkled and the soft
  sound of the cascading water greeted them from inside.
                                                   (excerpt from- Italian Affair)

All of this allowed me, for a brief time, to travel to Italy and watch as the two main characters became the Italian versions of themselves… still quirky and unique, but a bit softer around the edges and more passionate about their own lives.

I give ITALIAN AFFAIR,  4 * stars. Take your own trip to Italy via this fun story and you might become a different person for a while as well.

Which of your favorite books have immersed you in their setting? Do you become a whole new person (without the help of alchohol:>) when you travel? I love to hear from readers, so leave a comment and be sure to let me know what you think of my posting a review every now and then.

Here’s to your own Journey Inspired by Love -
Deanne
                                    Be to click on the 'Read More' button below right for Author Bio, Book Blurb and Tour details

"Summer's the one time of year I get fun reading done."

Sadly, I jumped the gun before summer actually started, and now I am afraid I may have already finished the best book of the summer. As my blog readers know, I rarely post book reviews in my blog. I do like to read... but I have also found it is difficult to do it with an objective eye.

However, I am making an exception in this case. I can't fully explain why since I don't even understand it myself. I will say that for some reason this book reached in a took a hold of me like few books have and I want to make sure the author received my humble vote of support.

Before the review, however, I wanted to post the results of the Blogoversary contest I ran. Apparently my lovely readers and friends were either too humble to enter the contest, or, didn't understand Rafflecopter was in charge of picking a winner. And so, I will randomly select one name from the list of six commenters. Drum roll..... And the winner is - Aven Ellis! Yay Evan. Send me a note to dwilstedauthor(at)gmail(dot)etc. along with your preferred GC (amazon or B&N) and I will email it to you asap.

All right... and now, for my review of:    A JANE AUSTEN DAYDREAM - by Scott D. Southard.
                                                                            My rating: ---- 4 and 1/2 STARS -----

I read A JANE AUSTEN DAYDREAM eager for a story of romance resembling hers in tone and style. And, while I definitely found this, I ended up enjoying Mr. Southard’s story for so much more. There is a depth and perceptiveness to his writing which actually had me in tears at one point…. Not during the narration of the story,  but in one of the prologues to it.

The book is divided into three volumes, each of which weaves the story of how Jane learns about herself, about love, and about her characters through her own relationships. It was at the start of the final volume, which in story alone had its own share of emotional moments, that I found myself reaching out to Mr. Southard as if to a like soul.

For one thing, I am a writer. For another, my friends will say I am fairly philosophical. In both of these elements I found statements of truth for my life that, in my 46 years so far, have eluded me. To quote:

“It is so easy to romanticize the idea of life.

People make the mistake of doing so each day. Life is not a poem, nor is it a painting. It is not perfect. Life is harsh, and the reality of it can be so hard that even the greater souls amongst us can break into tears over the pains that lie in front of them. It is a path we have all been placed on, and it is one that none of us agreed to or asked for, but we walk it because we have nothing else to do, and no other choice to make. That fact is the one truth that ties all of us together.”

There is much, much more to this prologue… and so much more the story of Jane herself. But I won’t give it away, because, like a gift, it should be opened by the recipient… each reader who has the good fortune to land upon 
Mr. Southard’s writing.

         * * * * * * * Bio (Deanne note: Obviously my next read will be 3 Days in Rome:>) * * * * * * * *
Scott D. Southard, the author of the new A Jane Austen Daydream, swears he is not obsessed with Jane Austen.
He is, however, also the author of the award-winning novels, My Problem With Doors, Megan, and 3 Days in
Rome. His eclectic writing has also found its way into radio, being the creator of the radio comedy series The Dante Experience. The production was honored with the Golden Headset Award for Best MultiCast Audio and the Silver Ogle Award for Best Fantasy Audio Production.

Scott received his Master’s in writing from the University of Southern California. Scott can be found on the internet via this very writing blog where he writes on topics ranging from writing, art, books, TV, writing, parenting, life, movies, and writing. He even shares original fiction on the site (recently, his experimental novel Permanent Spring Showers).

Currently, Scott resides in Michigan with his very understanding wife, his patient two children, and a very opinionated dog named Bronte.

He can be reached via comments on this site, twitter (@SDSouthard) and at the e-mail AJAD.Southard@gmail.com

“It just always seems like we’re not on the same page.”

His hand sits there… waiting to be held.  
 
She picks up her phone… her hands are busy constantly, texting and checking. What is she waiting for?

“...bad decisions that we made. So don’t tell me what to do”

“I’m not telling you what to do.”

“Yeah you are…”

Now his hands are crossed in front of his body…. And in his pockets.

They go outside; to sit in the sun to get away…. To get privacy... and her, to get space.

Now sit across from each other, eye to eye, rather than right next to each other as they did inside.

It is another teenage love gone awry. 
 
Get rid of the damn phone!

* * * * *
Ahhh, Spring Love. Sorry for the belated post. I hope you enjoy my moment of being ever so grateful I am no longer a teenager.

Interestingly, while looking for a I found a great article about why overheard cell phone conversations bug us so much

“Time for our daily stretch.”

My favorite thing to do on Valentine’s Day? Hang out at New Seasons Grocery store. You will have seen previous posts from overhears there, but this one shows why I love hanging out there so much. The loudspeaker went on to invite all customers to put down their baskets and reach, reach, reach up over their head. “The store that cares for your health,” they say at the end and I believe it.

There is a level of customer service that comes from a perspective of care rather than profit or sales. This is something that can’t be faked. It is sort of like Santa in A Miracle on 34th Street, when he sent customer to a
competitors store for missing items. Ask about a product at New Seasons and they will offer you a taste or test. I never feel like this is only a ploy. When I walk away I am convinced they want me to get the best product I can.

As an author I can understand this. With my new novel being released my entire marketing plan is based around finding the readers I think will really, truly enjoy it. This is not always as easy as it might seem. Readers are told by reviewers and authors and booksellers that every book is the best one. The good news is that I am sure all of these sources believe it; for the most part I don’t think they are trying to trick anyone. 
 
But, the fact is, not all readers will like every book. Some books aren’t written in the right style (just ask my husband about first person, present tense). Other books are about topics or in genres that simply aren’t interesting to the reader.

So, how do I find the readers who really will like my book? I think it is all about authenticity. If I am honest about my reviews, good and bad, if I am really present in the Facebook and Twitter friends I feeds I follow, if I care about the topics in my book and allow others to see my concern, I think my readers will understand that what I write comes from my heart and hopefully is my own Valentine to them.

Enjoy!
UNTANGLING THE KNOT - now available:
Kindle Format - Amazon
Other formats (including Nook and Kobo)- Soulmatepublishing

Also read, An Unlikely Valentine - A free short story based on Untangling the Knot, available Feb. 15th 2013 from
FREE READS from the GENRE-ISTAS

“I was feeling too much like a voyeur. They were on a first date.”

A kindred spirit had moved to sit near me and wanted to explain why she’d had to change seats. Of course she found a sympathetic ear in mine. Observation goes hand in hand with overhearing and together they can feel like
being pulled somewhere I don’t always want to go.

The best example I can use for non-observers out there is rubber-necking. We all know we should just drive by, that the reason the traffic is so bad is not from the accident itself but from all the people slowing down to look at it. And yet, there we are, cruising by with our neck craned.

Once I was on an airplane and my step-brother had a panic attack. Since he had never had one before we didn’t know what it was, so everyone was treating it as a possible heart problem. The passengers were asked to stay
seated and a call for a doctor was announced. Still, you would not believe how many people had to ‘go to the bathroom’ near us. All of them wanted to see what had caused the trouble.

Maybe it is the fight or flight instinct in us that makes us stick our nose into what we are not sure we even want to smell. It could be that instinct tells us to make sure there isn’t something dangerous happening.  

Or, perhaps we all just like a good story. The drama of an accident. The heartbreak of public tears. The thrill of a first date. Being a voyeur could be a sign it is time to create more stories in our own daily lives.

*******
Hey everyone.... did you check out my Free Story yet? I'd ove to know what you thought, so leave a comment here if you haven't already on the site:
http://www.freereadsfromthegenre-istas.blogspot.com/2012/11/deannewilstedfreereadcynthia1.html

And, if you haven't read it, go get it. It's a quick and funny read to lighten your holidays. Here's an excerpt:

.  .  .
“Oh my God! Nana, are you okay?” Cynthia realized she was the only one to have  noticed her grandmother fall in the
doorway.

“Get away, you’ll ruin it,” Nana shouted as  Cynthia leaned over to try to help her up. “I want the firemen to give me mouth  to mouth.”

Heat rose in Cynthia’s cheeks as she realized  Jack had heard Nana’s excuse. What must he think of her crazy family? The  glimmer in his eye gave away that it wasn’t what she’d expected. 

Go for it, he mouthed.
.  .  .

Read all of A FAMILY THANKSGIVING MENU at Free Reads from the Genre-istas

“I’ve got a feeling…that tonight’s gonna be a good night….”

We lay in bed rocking out to the music that floated through our open window. From outside the celebratory sounds of a wedding party crashed the night.

It was one year ago today that I was honored and lucky enough to attend the most fantastic wedding in my life. No, not my own, but a friend’s wedding in Italy. Every detail, from the ceremony in an ancient church, to the fireworks that lit the sky over the medieval castle where the reception was held, was perfect.

But not all weddings go so smoothly. Some are unlucky, some were badly planned, and some were never meant to be. We’ve probably all attended at least one wedding where something major went wrong. And even my friend’s wedding in Italy had a couple of stumbles; the bus that couldn’t squeeze down the narrow, country road to the castle…. Or the train on the wedding dress that tripped the bride and groom as they did their first dance. But little issues like these are what make what would otherwise be too choreographed become real; human.

I am thrilled that in November Soul Mate Publishing will be releasing the digital version of my story, UNTANGLING THE KNOT (check here for a little more info about it). I loved writing this story because it takes place around a wedding; one with its own share of problems. And what could be more fun than that… Well, other than possibly attending the rocking wedding party I heard this weekend!!!

My Friends, Steven and Melissa - outside
Fiesole Cathedral; July 30, 2011 

“I wish they would still let us light a fire in the fireplace…. Early summer nights can get cold here.”

We’d just finished our tour of Vikingsholm and were talking with the wonderful park ranger who had provided such great information on the beautiful old house.

As a child I’d spent my summers at Lake Tahoe, and it was a family tradition to hike down to Vikingsholm and have a picnic there. So I remember the spot fondly and was so glad to finally be able to share it with my own family. But even more, I loved taking our hike because it was the first time I had gone back since using it as the setting for one of the scenes in Betting Jessica. 
 
I recently wrote a guest blog post for Romancing the Genres where I describe why I love to write contemporary fiction. I enjoy being able to use things I observe or overhear or past experiences. The scene from Betting Jessica is a perfect example of this.

On one of our trips when I was young a terrible storm came up and began raining and then hailing on us as we were half way down the mountain. My mom had us hold towels over our heads to keep the stone sized hail from hurting
and we ran down the mountain until we reached the castle. When we arrived there we found all of the visitors huddled inside and they quickly made room for us.

As I took the tour my memories of that experience overlapped with the story I had created. I asked the park ranger if the fireplace was ever used, and this led to us talking about that childhood experience so long ago. I explained that I remembered a fire being lit in the fireplace and at some point the ranger pulling out his guitar and leading the storm hostages in song. She told me that although the fireplace was no longer used, she had heard stories about the previous ranger playing his guitar and sometimes having a fire there. 

Fortunately, Betting Jessica is fictionalized because when they arrive at the castle after encountering a similar hailstorm they are able to have an intimate moment sitting on the hearth in front of the fire… something that couldn’t actually happen at Vikingsholm today.

Still… as I stood there, getting ready to shoot a YouTube video for my fans, Erik and Jessica were as real to me as the ghost of my past self.

Main room at Vikingsholm
with fireplace in the background.

“It’s a huge hot dog.”
“Are you kidding? It’s obviously a huge… you know… hanging from the ceiling.”

While I let your imagination figure that out let me discuss some business. Next week, to celebrate the one year
anniversary of my blog, I will be giving my book, Betting Jessica, away for free on Kindle. Tell your friends… it is a great way to snag some summer reading.

Okay, so now that I’ve gotten that out of the way… back to my overhear.

My husband and I are definitely not art experts; not that we don’t appreciate art, but some of it, especially of the
modern variety, leaves us scratching our heads. So I had to chuckle when I heard the couple having a conversation not unlike a recent one of ours.

The funny thing, though, was the rest of the conversation:

“A tube?”
“Noooo.”
“A wand?”
“Nooooo… seriously? Are you kidding me?”
"Well than what is it?” (Said in an annoyed tone of voice).

Innuendo is funny that way. What might be obvious to many can be lost on a few. In the romance genre there are varying levels of heat (another innuendo meaning sexuality). Description and use of sexual relations can range
from the erotic to the sweet. Since my writing is sweet, innuendo can play an important role.

The problem is that, although I might know where I am going with language my readers who I have been thrilled to note are as far away as Australia and Italy, may have no clue what I am talking about. Cultural relevance has a strong impact on innuendo. So that hot dog (which, by the way, is a uniquely American term) might not bring to mind the same universal image as sausage.

Cultural relevance goes far beyond nationality, however. In a white paper entitled, Culturally Relevant Physical Education in Urban Schools: Reflecting Cultural Knowledge, by Sara B. Flory and Nate McCaughtry, they define culture as: local to the social situation, including socioeconomic status, language, family structure, violence and crime, personal and public safety, immigration issues, race, ethnicity, and religion. 

I would also add age to that definition, as this too influences how a person defines the world around them. It is obvious when writing for children for example, that adding age-appropriate words goes beyond length and complexity. Great children’s authors incorporate significant aspects of lifestyle into their writing (e.g. referencing video games, or school environments).

The trick as writers is to understand our audience and what they find relevant… while at the same time not becoming so specific that other readers feel left out. 

I felt sorry for the woman who couldn’t understand her partner’s reference. I wanted to explain to her that if she simply walked a few blocks down to the Rose Festival she could experience a corn-dog for herself and see how much it looked like that piece of art hanging from the ceiling. 

“Have you noticed the UPS guy’s been using the porta-potty in front of the neighbors’ house?”

Seriously? Yeah, really…. The guy has been doing that. A house on our street has been doing some remodeling and apparently the construction workers toilet has been seeing some extra use.

To be fair… driving around all day is kind of a crappy (pun absolutely intended) job. I don’t know about you, but I am always sipping something when I drive; coffee, water, soda. At some point it would have to get to you, right? And then what? I imagine that is why I often see fed-ex and UPS drivers stopping into Starbucks.

In a past life I spent a lot of time on the road as a sales rep. (selling checks which is so funny I just had to say it). Anyway… I know what it is like to require a pit stop and I became very good at sussing out the very best spots to, shall we say, take a break. So… just in time for your summer travel, here’s my list of top five places to go to
the bathroom when you have to go (please note: porta-potties are nowhere on this list):

5. Hotels (in the olden days it was useful that they also had phones).
4. McDonalds (‘nough said… who hasn’t done this?)
3. Community Colleges (just be careful of the parking)
2. Starbucks (duh! Although not an option long ago when I was on the road)
and…
1. Libraries (where next year you should also be able to find a copy of my book, Untangling the Knot)

Like how I snuck that in? Yes… it is official! I have finally received my first book contract and will be publishing the digital version of Untangling the Knot by Christmas and the print version sometime next year.

Am I excited? Definitely! I love the publisher (Soulmate Publishing LLC); am thrilled to be working with a great editor; and can’t wait to hold a hard copy of this wonderful story in my hands before I turn fifty. (Click over to The World of my Books to see more about Untangling the Knot).

As a side benefit… today marks the one year anniversary of my blog. What better way to celebrate than with an announcement of this wonderful milestone. Today in particular I’d love to hear about your own dreams being
worked on or already fulfilled; so please leave a comment.

And remember… Every journey begins with a single step (even if it is only in the direction of the porta-potty).