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Overheard at . . . Green Lake

2/19/2015

1 Comment

 
“I’m so “f”ing old that I’ll never get a boyfriend at this point.”

What was particularly funny about this overhear was that the two girls walking by us on the path couldn’t have been more than 30 years old. Age, like everything else, is relative. And so I suppose, to them, 30 does feel ancient. Personally, I met my wonderful husband at 28, dated for less than a year before becoming engaged, and got married at 30. So I don’t actually think this young woman was out of the realm of possible dating.

I would say it could be environmental, e.g. particular to Seattle that people date young. But, in fact, I was living in Seattle when I met my husband (though technically we spent our time in Portland where he was living.) And, it is not a factor of the (ahem) 18-ish years that have passed since my engagement. According to the Huffington Post, the average age for people getting married has reached an all-time high. 

I remember living that period, though. Although we no longer refer to older, unmarried women, as old maids (and btw - try finding that card game- nearly impossible anymore,) as women we do begin to feel pushed aside as we watch our friends, and friends of friends find love and marry. I was in my fair share of weddings, and can testify to the angst of being “always the bridesmaid and never the bride.”

But, here’s what I also know…. Almost twenty years later quite a few of those young romances had significant trouble when they hit the inevitable rocky challenges in marriage. Some ended in divorce, and happily, some just had to renegotiate who they were as a couple. And while I won’t claim my husband and I have never hit some of those rough patches, I will say that I have never, ever questioned that I could have made a better choice. I had my chance to date those other choices… and for me, was glad I waited for the right one.

So, hear me, young thirty year-old women! You are at the perfect age to date. You have money, you have independence, you have an awesome wardrobe… and most importantly, you have a clear sense of self. Enjoy it while you can, because although you may not believe it, soon you will be jumping with glee when your daughter’s gym offers a parent’s night out and your dates consist of grocery shopping while sipping nonfat lattes or auctions with a bunch of other elementary school parents. Woo Hoo!

What was the last date you went on? I’m always looking for good ideas, so leave a comment and improve the pathetic dating rut we are stuck in. 

I hope your next date is a fun new journey inspired by love.
Cheers,
Deanne

1 Comment
Maggie Lynch link
2/20/2015 05:08:30 am

This made me smile and almost laugh out loud. I've actually heard a similar phrase uttered from the mouth of a 19 year old. I think that some of this comes from that time of life (25-35) when it seems that everyone you know is coupled and having children, and you are missing out. However, I agree with you that waiting until you know who you are and have established independence is the best approach.

I think you are never too old to marry. I've known people who remained single until into their 40s or 50s because they were completely career focused. Yet others, who had second or third marriages well into their 60's and 70's.

I remarried at age 45. I can tell you that the dating world IS much different when your older, but definitely not impossible. I was much different at 45 than at 20 something or 30 something. I knew a lot more about who I was and what I wanted/needed in a relationship. It makes all the difference in the world.

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    About Me...

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    Deanne Wilsted

    Link here to Betting Jessica on Amazon.com

    Background - Overheard While Writing
    It's hard to explain, but 12 years ago, when I started to write seriously, the only place where I could get my work done was at Starbucks. 

    Since then, 4 manuscripts and 4 favored Starbucks later, I sill find myself drawn to a cozy corner and a half-decaf Americano.... not to mention the many friendly faces that greet me when I arrive.

    And, while I try to stay focused, there are some times when the conversations or interactions that surround me draw my attention away from my own characters, and into the world of life's own characters. 

    This BLOG captures some of those funny, sincere, inspiring moments. Maybe they will give you a reason to write as well.

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