“What do you think that type of body was built for… Cirque de Soleil?” The funny part about this conversation was that it was a mom talking about her baby. Not being able to see the baby, I could only imagine what made her think this… was it extra long arms? Early muscular development…. Skin that could break into flame on command? I have always found it interesting that the physique and personality of dogs are so tied to the jobs they were bred for. Ever try to run away from a small dog and get your heels nipped… yep, that’s a ratter (going back to 17th century dogs like the Brussels Griffon were bred to rid the home of vermin). How about swimming around an Australian shepherd… it drives them crazy because they were bred to keep livestock together. The question I have is whether humans have ancestral traits not exactly bred into them, but as a result of their geographical roots. I guess it is like the idea of Darwinism… that over time we adapt based on the challenges of time and place. So that eventually, I suppose if the iPhone is around long enough we will all begin to have thumbs that are smaller than the rest of our fingers. And then what of the significant traits my daughter possesses? Both what I would consider the good and the bad. Like her amazing imagination or overly strong will. Seen in this light I wonder if these qualities that I judge are all designed to give her the best chance of succeeding in this world… Maybe she even inherited some of them from me; after all, I can see where these would be useful to a writer. Then again, perhaps they are just the traits she needs to become an amazing a Cirque de Soleil performer.
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“But what if I don’t like my teacher?”
Raise your hand if you remember that feeling… you know, the one you would get right before school started back up after summer vacation? We’ve been having this discussion a lot in my house lately. And, it is tough not to laugh when my daughter explains that she is scared she won’t have any friends in class… won’t get a good teacher… won’t be smart enough to do the work. I try to explain that every summer for as long as there has been school with summer vacation, kids have felt the exact same as her at this point in the year. In my last blog post I wrote about change. Having this chance to observe my daughter has pointed out something to me. Since change is inevitable, and since there will always be some measure of fear that goes with it… fear must be inevitable too. Perhaps this is obvious to others, but for me this is an epiphany. Not liking the feelings that fear creates I have worked throughout my life to fight it. I have believed if I were simply stronger, more secure, more stable, more…. something, I could avoid having to experience these feelings of fear. Now I see that no matter how much I might try to control myself and my environment fear is part of life. So, what can I do about it? Well, that is why I wanted to laugh at my daughter’s anxiety about going back to school. Although those are very real concerns, there’s actually nothing she can do about them until she sees how it plays out. She can’t actually not go to school (as was her suggestion). She has to simply live it out. Writing is a scary business, filled with what-ifs and self-doubt. And, unlike school, writers can, and some do, decide to avoid it by just not writing. But it shouldn’t stop us. Because even though writing may be scary, it also gives me something to do while I worry about whether my daughter will like her new teacher in school this year. |
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June 2020
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