“At the beginning of my career I worried about it (being a white rapper from Minnesota) a lot. I wanted to make sure that I seemed credible… that I was paying the respect that’s due to the music that was largely innovated by another culture set. And then, ten years in, you worry about, ‘is this song good.,” Dessa told Here & Now’s Robin Young.
Dessa's statment really resonates with my feeling of late about my writing. Perhaps it is because I have released my work on Amazon; or maybe it is that my group of writer friends has expanded exponentially in the last year; whatever the reason, my concern has switched from that of... am I really a writer, to... is what I write good. And with this switch comes a whole new set of worries for me to grapple with. For one thing... I am suddenly intimidated to write. Even though I have completed three novels, I am suddenly scared the forth one might not be inside me. And, I have some evidence for this... I began a forth novel last January and was really struggling with it. I put it down to revise Betting Jessica and now, although I want to start it again, I am lost. Suddenly, every word seems critical. When I first started to write my only goal was to actually complete an entire story. I didn't really worry about how good the writing was, I guess I figured I would cross that bridge if I ever actually finished. The only important thing to me, at that point, was not to be the person who worked on the same story for their entire life. After I finished my novel, (at that point called The Sirens - for no real reason), I decided my next goal would be to simply learn how to edit and revise my own work. Through the help of an editor (and later friend) I set in place methods for editing which I still use today. I practiced these skills on my work, and ended up with a revised version of my novel, now called Betting Jessica. Every step of my writing career has gone this way, from one learning experience to another, perhaps as a way of not needing to be such a harsh judge of myself. Now, though, as I circle back around, I find that my inner critic has surfaced and I ask myself constantly; am I perfecting what I have already learned? Perhaps, as in Betting Jessica, when she decides that taking on bets can be a good way to motivate herself, I can look back over my writing history and see that approaching tasks as a learning experience has helped me to let go of the worry and focus instead on the work. If that is true.... I guess my newest lesson needs to be how to be a positive self-critic. And then I can reframe to question from; is this good to... am I learning?
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"What are they doing?"
"There's a kid trapped in the dumpster." "A kid?" "No, a cat..." The Starbucks employees were running around wildly with a box, trying to figure out how to get the kitten out of the dumpster. It would have been funny, exepct, I swear, I heard the person say 'kid' also and was really freaked out. My heart rate is only now settling back to normal. I imagine that the idea of writing dialogue, for non-writers, seems easy. It's just how we speak, right? Well, sure... a little, but take this overhear as an example and it's obvious that good dialogue is sooooo much more. First, there must be context to set it up.... who is speaking, but also, why, and what is the tone. When we are in person speaking that is all obvious; but as writers we have to create that through description and, I for one, will say that's not the easiest thing to do without soundlng like the director calling shots for a movie scene. If I had first described the frantic running in and out of the Starbucks door by the employees... heedless of customers or cars, and carrying an empty box; now the dialogue begins to make a little more sense. Our eyes watch the action as the dialogue is spoken, so it is not enough to simply frame the dialogue before and after. Somehow the writer has to squeeze that action in while not slowing the dialogue down too much. So let's try this again.... (and, BTW, for all my fantastic writer friends.... I'd love to get your take on this same dialogue in the comments section.) Inside Starbucks it was a crazy morning as usual. The line, in fact, went clear out the door. With the door open it was much easier for the frantic employees to scurry between the store entrance and the dumpster where the cat was trapped. "What are they doing," a woman shouted to another customer just as the harried barrista asked for her order. "There's a kid trapped in the dumpster," the person answered over the loud hiss of the espresso machine. What? The woman thought. How is that possble? How could people just be standing here acting as if all that was important was their tall, double shot, skinny, no foam, latte. "A kid?" she asked in disbelief. Outside, one Starbucks employee was now standing inside the dumpster and the other was handing over the box. The idea that it must be a baby trapped in the dumpster threw the woman into action so that she missed the crucial reply. "No... a cat," the man shouted after her, watching the crazed woman run out the door to help. |
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June 2020
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