“Siri… I’m two. Siri… I’m two.”

One week in and, like a monkey toward a shiny object, I’ve swung back to a random overhear rather than one about travel. I’d apologize, except it was just so cute I couldn’t resist. So it was while I was waiting in line at the pharmacy that the little (apparently two year old) child in the cart ahead of me attempted to get Siri’s attention. If Siri were actually a real person I imagine she too would have laughed at his determination to be understood. “I’m two,” he kept saying over and over, trying to make it clear enough that Siri would reply.

Of course it would have helped had he pressed down the button on the phone to make Siri listen. Wisely, the mom must not have imparted that critical piece of information. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all we had to do to correct our personal communication troubles was press a button? Ohhhh, so that’s why my daughter won’t do what I ask. I forgot to press her button. On the other hand, I’ve noticed that most kids I know have no trouble finding and pressing buttons. It must be a skill we lose with age.

Of course, I’ve also seen how those interactions don’t always run smoothly. Whether it is my or one of her friends buttons that she is pushing, I can’t imagine my daughter’s goal was such negative attention.  But what if, like Siri, I got a nice polite response to my comment or question? Now that would be a button worth finding! I think my buttons are pretty obvious, but how about you? Do you know which buttons set you off? Do you have a good technique for being heard? I love, love, love to hear from my readers so leave a comment and check back for my reply. I look forward to our dialogue.

Many Happy Journeys Inspired by Love-
Deanne

“Yes, bath! No bath! Yes bath! No bath!”

For those of you who can make a high squeaky voice, say the above in that tone and you will get the gist. My daughter’s loveys – a tiger guy and a bunny guy, affectionately known as the guysies – were about to be put into the washing machine and were arguing with each other and their mom (my daughter) about being washed.

Tiger guy apparently likes the way the washing machine is like a roller coaster; while Bunny guy doesn’t like the way it goes around and around and makes him dizzy. 

I could write a whole story about all of the things that the guysies do and say. It would probably help if I could draw them, though. Yesterday on NPR I heard an interview of Ethan Nicolle, co-creator (with his 5 yr old brother) of the comic series, Axe Cop. It was the first I had heard of this hilarious hero and the brothers that created him.

(You can hear the entire interview on CBCRadio here.)

As you read or watch Axe Cop (the comic has now been turned into a cartoon) you can definitely see that it comes directly out of a young child’s imagination. But that is what is so funny about it. It is unedited, a world in which the hero at one moment can be fighting aliens and in the next making lemonade that then turns to frozen ice pellets for shooting the bad guys.

Just like Tiger Guy and Bunny Guy, the hero and his side-kick have real personalities and act accordingly. In my daughter’s world, Tiger Guy is the responsible one (also she is a female, just sayin’) and Bunny Guy is the  adventurous one… always trying to fly off to the forest on his super speed scooter. They eat pickle and olive sandwiches and have been part of our family since my daughter was a baby.

In fact, in order to prevent the disaster of losing one of them, we bought a back-up pair which we switched out every few weeks. It wasn’t until my daughter was five that we finally gave in and told her the truth. That there were two sets of guysies. This was accepted easily, and ended up being used to explain why they sometimes got into trouble (turns out the ‘bad’ pair were the trouble-makers.)

This good vs. bad scenario is at the core of most imaginative play, as children try to make sense of a world that, to them at least, appears random. In Axe Cop, these good and bad events occur so fluidly and often that it makes the reader or viewer dizzy. But it is also what makes it funny. Because, I think, on a gut level, we all continue to struggle with a world out of our control. Someone can seem like a normal person and then plant a bomb at the end of the Boston Marathon. In one part of the world our children can be going back to school while, in another part they flee chemical weapons and war.

Bunny Guy and Tiger Guy show us that, even though we may argue about being dumped in that washing machine, ultimately it is out of our control. Our only choice is in whether we see it as a roller coaster or a trial.

Have you seen Axe Cop or do you have another favorite kids cartoon? Do your kids make up creative stories with their stuffed animals? I love hearing from my readers. And to prove it I’m giving away a copy of BETTING JESSICA to
one lucky commenter during the month of September.

Leave a comment for any of my blog posts and at the end of each month I will randomly select one visitor/commenter to receive a free download of my book. (Note: winner will be notified by a reply linked to their original  comment…. Check back at the end of the month for directions on how to claim your prize!)

Good Luck! 

“Did you get a first day of school outfit?”

Ahhhh, the start of a new school year! The butterflies. The school supplies. The new outfits. There is a routine that sets the stage for this seasonal change every year. And, as I considered this I realized that, even more than New Year’s Eve, my year truly begins when the school days start.

In fact, I missed this during those post school, pre-kids, days. My schedule felt off… like I was missing something important. And, I was. Because during the slower, mess structured summer days I end up doing a lot of thinking (and not a lot of writing). Summer is when I take stock of my year so far; when I dream about what could be and how to make it so. And then, when school starts I sit down and make my shiny new list of goals. 

Two years ago I told myself I would get my first book published… October 2011, BETTING JESSICA was released on Kindle. A year ago, 2012, I knew I would have to buckle down and do some real marketing for Soul Mate Publishing’s release of my 2nd book, UNTANGLING THE KNOT in Feb. of 2013… Now my marketing plan is filled out and actively referenced in all of the promotional plans I take on.

This year my head is filled with many dreams and plans. But the word I would use to describe all of them is expand.

-Expand my writing through a new creative project (which BTW – was my official 2013 New Year’s resolution so I better get to work on that:>)

-Expand my publishing through getting Molto Mayhem out there for my readers. One way or another you will finally get to see this story.

-Expand my marketing by building a fundraiser for Comfort Zone Camps and tied to UNTANGLING THE KNOT. 

-Expand my knowledge by learning about screenwriting and engaging with the film industry.

As the weeks progress there will be many great new things going on in my blog. And, I expect pieces of this will change, get dropped or reprioritized. But right now, as my daughter embarks on a new school year armed with a stuffed pencil case and stylish new clothes, I head into my new year with a fresh new coat of energy, ready to tackle whatever the year holds.

I’d love to hear about your back to school routines. Leave a comment for any of my blog posts and at the end of each month I will randomly select one visitor/commenter to receive a free download of BETTING JESSICA. (Note: winner will be notified by a comment linked to their comment…. So check back at the end of the month for  directions on how to claim your prize!) Good Luck! 
 
Here’s to a fantastic school year for all kids and moms alike.

“Has he rolled over yet?”

FLASH BACK - 9 years.
Setting: a Starbucks in Brookline, MA. 
 
Me as a sleepy mom, computer open, trying to type, hoping baby will sleep.
{Yawn}

Older woman with loud voice is waiting for her coffee. Rummages through the newspapers and not finding anything she wants, comes over to chat.

”Has she rolled over yet?”

{slowly raise eyes from computer screen} “Not yet.” {smile and return to typing}

“She’s a small little one, isn’t she?”

{Barely hide sigh. Close lid of laptop} “Yes. She’s a little peanut. Do you have any children?

“Two of them, all grown up now. I’m expecting my first grandchild any day now. Won’t say whether it’s a boy or girl though. How about you? Did you tell people?”

“Yes. She was the first girl in the family, so everyone was excited.”

“Yeah, I wish they’d tell me. I found the cutest little stuffed animal. But I couldn’t get it because it was pink, and Lord knows if it’s a girl.”

“I hope you find out soon.” {Yawn. Look down at baby and see her wiggle fingers}

“Looks like she’s waking up.” {said loudly, hopefully}

“Yes, yes it does.” {said softly, in resignation. Begin packing bag.}

FLASH FORWARD- the present

I tiptoe by the sleeping baby and haggard mom. Having answered the question from the matriarch near her, she begins reading on her Kindle again. For all I know she could be reading UNTANGLING THE KNOT. I leave her to it and distract the woman near her with a very soft question about her grandchildren.

“Move the bucket out of the sun or you’ll cook them.”

Huh! Good advice. My daughter and I were clambering across the rocks at the beach in Tahoe testing our skills at catching crawfish. It is an annual tradition, dating back to when I was a kid scurrying across these very same rocks. We were not alone… a dad and his two kids (the overhear was directed at them) were doing their best with nets and lunchmeat. It was time to take some drastic measures. Crawfish are far too clever for that method so I offered them the string and hot dogs we were using.

We, the father and I, watched them fish waiting for sure success. But, while they caught a bunch of little minnows, the crawfish eluded them. I was prepared to be disappointed for them until I looked into their smiling faces
and was reminded that it is not the destination, but the journey, that matters.

Journeys Inspired by Love – I have lived with this tagline for so long now that I sometimes forget why I picked it. Goals and dreams are important. They inspire and motivate. But too often in my own past I have become so caught up in pursuing them that I have forgotten to enjoy the journey getting there. 

One of my favorite bloggers, Chris Guillebeau, wrote a great post today on deciding if what you are doing is Worth it All. Part of making the decision requires visualizing your future self after having completed the goal. It sounds easy but in fact I think this is more difficult than we might imagine. If I have framed my goal of being published purely in terms of the recognition or money I might receive I am sure to feel ready to give up along the way. However, I look at what I have written…. Jessica’s journey to renew her passion for life, Gabriella’s journey to live the faith she espouses, Ryan’s journey to really, truly find love again, and I know that my goal is about much, much more than the rewards at some distant date. It is about sharing their story with my readers; real people who may be facing similar journeys and looking for their own inspiration along the way.

This is why comments and reviews are so critical to writers. They remind us that what we do matters. Thanks for being part of my journey. I promise to not forget about you and cook you along the way.

Deanne

“It just always seems like we’re not on the same page.”

His hand sits there… waiting to be held.  
 
She picks up her phone… her hands are busy constantly, texting and checking. What is she waiting for?

“...bad decisions that we made. So don’t tell me what to do”

“I’m not telling you what to do.”

“Yeah you are…”

Now his hands are crossed in front of his body…. And in his pockets.

They go outside; to sit in the sun to get away…. To get privacy... and her, to get space.

Now sit across from each other, eye to eye, rather than right next to each other as they did inside.

It is another teenage love gone awry. 
 
Get rid of the damn phone!

* * * * *
Ahhh, Spring Love. Sorry for the belated post. I hope you enjoy my moment of being ever so grateful I am no longer a teenager.

Interestingly, while looking for a I found a great article about why overheard cell phone conversations bug us so much

“People are always telling me that I sound like Cinderella.”

Can you imagine any more perfect job for someone who sounds like a Disney Princess, than being a kids’ dental hygienist? What child isn’t going to listen and obey when Cinderella tells them to open wide, or floss better?

I suppose she could have chosen to do voice-overs or acted as one of the princesses at Disneyland. Certainly she would have been hired. I’ve never met anyone with quite that sort of lovely, sing-songy voice (outside of a theme park). And yet… rather than the obvious, this young woman chose a dental career.

In a recent program on NPR a student who felt he was a generalist without an sort of passion inspired a team of economists to model the best way to choose a career. (I know I’m Supposed to Follow my Passion. But What if I don’t Have a Passion? )

“In the end, the three economists did not advise Max to pursue some particular career path. They didn't even give very specific advice. But they did all agree that Max's lack of a passion could work to his advantage. Pursuing a passion — especially if it's a popular passion — often doesn't pay very well” (Chana Joffe-Walt – Morning Edition, May 9, 2013)

Right now, as many graduates leave high school for college or college for work, the question remains, what should I do? Assuming that there is only one right answer is part of the problem. What motivates us when we are young is not necessarily the same thing that motivates us when we are older. But I disagree with the economists on NPR…
I believe passion comes aligning our unique talents, the strengths that are central to us being who we are, and our interests. This passion won’t give us a career, but it will provide the inspiration, the fuel, for a well lived life.

I’d love to be able to wave a magic wand to help people identify what these strengths are. But right now I am short on magic. Instead I have found it takes hard work and a willingness to try and fail at many different things. It also helps to have access to a great career center. Many now have career tools which incorporate not only what you are good at, but also what motivates and interests you. 

Perhaps next time I visit the dentist I will check with the hygienist to see which career counselor she used. Either they were very good at their job or she was lucky enough to be blessed with a very talented fairy godmother.

Bonus Features today: You gotta hear this hilarious girl doing impressions of all the Disney Princesses. Hilarious! Which impression do you think she does best? What job should she be doing? What skill would you broadcast on YouTube? Come on.... you know you want to leave me a comment this time, so just do it!

“Hi Natalie, this is your little sister Isabella.”

(Image c/o comicvine.com)
We sat at a picnic table, shivering in the spring wind, and watching children play on the playground, this 84 year old woman and I. She was beautiful, with her thick, curly gray hair and stylish sunglasses. She shared, with her sister on the phone, memories of their playing with paper dolls together. My mind went back to my childhood, wondering what I would talk about with my siblings when we reached our later years.

Our favorite Saturday cartoon was The Super Friends. I wanted desperately to be Super Girl, but I would settle for Wonder Woman because of her invisible airplane. As soon as the program was over we would turn off the t.v. and race around the house saving imaginary people from pretend villains. It was a chance for our mom to sleep-in, or simply get a break from four active kids.

My older sister and I had a record player that we would blast after school in our room. We would sit in the open window and consider ourselves rebels as we sang along to Mickey Mouse. Later the record player was used to play songs that went along with a paper stage and puppet set. I am still haunted by one of the songs, “I Can’t Dance”, especially when a new song with the same line comes streaming from my daughters mouth as she listens through earphones to her High School Musical download.

Now we have busy lives, my sisters, brother and I. We have children and jobs and husbands. We have friends that steal us away, and live far apart. But I like to think that we are connected by games played, television programs watched, songs listened to… so many years ago. I like to think that at 84 we too will be on the phone discussing which Wonder Twin power to activate.

“Wow, that’s a lot of Nike Stores.” Said while looking at a map of the Nike World HQ
Campus.

Today I had my first training session with Alex Molden, a previous college and NFL player who is helping me get physically ready to kick a field goal. You can find more about my project on my UNTANGLING THE KNOT – field goal vlog.


The topic of this overhear is about seeing the world the way children see it. My overhear was said by my daughter whose frame of reference for Nike is strictly consumer oriented. I am sure, if she saw the campus for Costco or Hasbro she would have the same reaction.

It amazes me that the brain is all about connections… and that this is what learning does for us. She understands that people work, but hasn’t yet made the connection that a World Headquarter is made up of people creating
the business. Especially for her, work refers to something that her dad does mostly from home or I do, well, mostly at Starbucks.

Check out the website, Brain Connection, which has a plethora of information on how the brain works, and is much better qualified to explain it than me. One article they posted recently follows the day in the life of a child, exploring how mentally complex living is. Reading this I was struck by how much we take for granted in performing even simple tasks. And, while we spend a great deal of time conditioning our body, once we are out of school we stop focusing on conditioning our brain.

So, here are a couple of brain teasers (courtesy of Brain Connection) to work those brain muscles. Once you have completed them be sure to stretch and relax your brain with meditation… or a nice long nap.

Platyhop
The flower turns white and makes sound. Click on the flowers in the same order they light up to tell Platy where to hop. If you do it right, all the flowers will turn green while Platy hops.

Rapid Naming
How fast can you name an object, a color, a letter, or a number? Get your hand on the mouse, and get ready to start naming!

Word Wanderer
Travel the road less taken by spelling your path to mystical castles and treasures in the sky. Become Jack the word slayer.

Dress the Doggie
Help Soupy get dressed! Soupy the Dog tells you what color to paint his clothes. If you color them correctly, you can select more clothes

Good Luck!

“Someone stole my magnets.”

I felt awfully sorry for the third grader who had created an amazing science project and then realized someone had wrecked it by stealing the key element. It is hard to fathom what one of the other students would find so compelling about a couple of magnets. But then again, I don’t often understand what goes through the minds of elementary school kids.

For example, what part of putting bird poop into a mud pie is so compelling? And why would you take a water balloon onto a trampoline? And don’t even get me started about food choices? I am frequently at a loss as to why my
daughter does what she does. It is certainly always a hustle to stay one step ahead of her.

Take the situation where she decides she wants to cuddle up with me in bed. One part of me wants to believe it is because I am so loved and appreciated. The other, smarter, side of me knows it probably has more to do with wanting to avoid her homework or bedtime. The eyes in the back of my head thing used to be so much easier when she was younger and I knew exactly what was going through her cute little brain. Lately, though, I think she is  outsmarting me more often than not.

She, like all kids, may not always end up doing the right thing. But I know she mostly tries, and that is enough for me. Just like the magnets stolen from that student, there is a terrible attraction toward doing the wrong thing and it isn’t always easy to turn our backs and oppose it. The good thing is that it might be more difficult, but it is never too late, to break the connection.