It was too personal and intrusive, so I threw on my earphones, turned on my laptop and tried not to look at the beautiful woman sitting with her friends crying. I had walked in today with a very good idea of what I would write about. An overhear at Starbucks between two business men:
"These guys can rip. Depending on how things go, maybe I'll take
you over with me next month. We fly to Denver for a conference one day and then
we go off for the weekend to ski with these guys."
(I guess it's a two for one day on quotes:>)
I came in wanting to vent about the hubris of this guy; bestowing his boondoggle on a colleague. I wanted to condemn his greed and narcissism at a time when so many people are suffering at or near poverty in our country; condemn him for perpetuating the types of activities which helped create the mess our country is in financially.
And then I heard the woman and saw her crying and all (or, okay, most) of the wind was taken out of my sails. I am still angry, but I am also feeling overwhelmed by the frailty of life that so many of us, including the guys talking about Denver, take for granted. A husband, a child, a mother can die and in a moment life takes on a completely different perspective, as if we stared through a kaleidescope that just shifted.
It was a year ago this Friday that my father called to tell my my grandmother had died. We had expected it.... but the thing is, we had expected it for years. She continued to amaze us with her resiliancy and spirit. On the day she died she had her nails done by her best friend, drank her favorite whiskey, smoked a cigarette and ate a choclate covered cherry. Her last day epitomized her life, lived to the fullest.
Who knows why life continues or ends? Why one of us lives to be 96 like my grandmother and another of us is only here on earth until 13. I like to hope that no matter how long we spend on earth we leave a mark. The question is: will our mark be made through enjoying boondoggles, or through having the courage to share our unique talents with the world... to be our very best unique self.
I have no idea what the financial recompense of my life will be.... but I do know that I have had the invaluable opportunity of being able to share myself through my writing. I thank you, every one of you, for that!